Who has had an experience with spirits, coming into your life? Knowing their presence is there, feeling them sit next to you? I have a story to share, none like any others I’ve shared.
Life has been a little stressful lately. My sweet boy cries out in pain day and night. We’ve been to specialists, gotten an MRI, and countless X-rays. He even has fitted braces to wear on his legs. Tried every medication I can think of, even spending lots of money on sensory products to help his possible sensory disorder. It’s time to get answers from better doctors in another state. That’s happening in 2 weeks.
I’ve scheduled my dad’s burial at a Veteran’s Memorial cemetery where my family lives. It will be a very emotional day. That is scheduled for the end of next month.
Then just the daily struggles of laundry (think of an ENTIRE room of dirty laundry), dishes, chores, and trying to keep my kids happy.
Talking with my mom on the phone for a couple of hours, talking about my dad. It was a good talk. She asked me, like the innocence of a sweet child, ‘Do you think if I took all the guns away, that he (my dad) would still end his life?’ My heart sank. To hear my mom, just sad and feeling guilty.
Now this could be a normal week of feelings, and I am fine. But it’s been a while since I’ve had a good cry, and to really ponder life and reflect. So when my husband came home from work, and told me why our town’s football game that night was cancelled, I LOST it. I just couldn’t hold it in any longer. The boy from the opposing team, died the same way my dad did.
I finished up the dishes in silence, feeling the tears coming. I ran downstairs to start a load of laundry. I couldn’t hold back the tears. I prayed to Heavenly Father with all my strength to help me get out of this overwhelming funk I was in. Then, right after I said that most heartfelt prayer, I felt my dad stand behind me, at the doorway of our laundry room. I cried so hard! I told him I missed him SO much. I also thought, ‘No, this isn’t happening! Am I crazy? What is going on!’ I was scared. I was afraid to look behind me. So I closed the washer door, and slowly turned around. He wasn’t there. Ok, that was a relief. (By the way, why am I so scared? I will get back to that later). As I am walking towards the doorway, trying to collect myself, I hear my husband changing the song on the Echo Alexa speaker and I hear the song loud and clear, ‘ Owooooo! … Who do I see walking in the woods? It’s little red riding hood!’. And the song went on. If anyone knows anything about my dad, that was his song. I’ve had MANY memories of that song with him. My dad couldn’t sing the best, but he would belt out that whole song. I can even belt out every word of it! At one time, my dog would howl along with him. I also heard my husband asked what year the song was made, which is another hobby of my dad’s, naming the year and month that songs came out.
Why on earth would that song, of all songs start playing? I just melted onto the floor, on top of the mound of dirty laundry, and just cried and cried. Then I felt my dad kneel and sit down to the right of me, his legs crisscrossed like mine, and put his arm around my shoulder. Just around the time that the verse ‘I’d like to hold you if I could’ came on.
I was just shocked beyond belief. Had my dad really visited me? Am I going crazy? I went upstairs and asked my husband what made him want to play that song. He looked at me puzzled, then realized what song had just played. He apologized and gave me a hug. No apology needed, I just wanted to know what prompted him to play it. He said he didn’t really know why it had played it. He was listening to classical music and asked it to play some song that he couldn’t remember. Little Red Riding Hood came on instead.
What a night. I decided to go on a walk with my girls. As I stepped out the door, I could hear my neighbor listening to music in his garage. The song happened to be ‘Long as I Can See the Light’ by CCR. Speechless. CCR was my dad’s TOP favorite band, along with this song.
THAT was my dad’s sweet spirit comforting me. Telling me to hang on, that it will get better. Just like when he was on this earth, he didn’t need to say much to teach me lessons. Him just being there gave me comfort.
I’ve only felt a spirit once in my life and that was when I got my patriarchal blessing (in my church, adults can get their patriarchal blessing. A guideline or map of their lives. Here is a link: https://www.lds.org/topics/patriarchal-blessings?lang=eng). This is the second time in my life that I’ve felt a spiritual presence, in real-time. Not just in a dream.
So why was I so scared? Maybe it is a human trait, to have fear of something not felt of before. Maybe I felt I was crazy, that it was all in my head. I’ve never personally known anyone who had such a vivid presence of a spirit while awake.
I wanted to do some research about it, to maybe reassure me that I am not crazy! Here are some quotes from leaders in my church:
‘Our loved ones who have passed on are not far from us’ (in Conference Report, Apr. 1971, p. 18; or Ensign, June 1971, p. 33).
President Brigham Young said: ‘Where is the spirit world? It is right here’ (Discourses of Brigham Young, p. 376)
Elder Dallin H. Oaks also stated, “For most of us the mortal journey is long, and we continue our course with the protection of guardian angels.”
‘He will send His angels before you. You will feel their presence.’ (Dieter F. Uchtdorf)
President Joseph F. Smith said, “Our fathers and mothers, brothers, sisters, and friends who have passed away from this earth, having been faithful, and worthy to enjoy these rights and privileges, may have a mission given them to visit their friends and relatives upon the earth again, bringing from the divine presence messages of love, of warning, or reproof or instruction, to those whom they have learned to love in the flesh” (Gospel Doctrine, Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1959, p. 436).
What a blessing to have my father in my life! He is truly my guardian angel, watching over me and my family.