As I was scrolling through Facebook, a video from a suicide prevention website that I follow, caught my attention. It was about how we can help those that are suicidal. I am here to say that they don’t always work. Here’s why.
“If I say I’m suicidal, take it seriously”. We did that. We took it seriously and were concerned with his well being. No, we didn’t want to take him to the mental hospital where he would be pumped full of drugs, and come home back to his suffering. Beyond that, he wouldn’t have agreed to that. Or would he?
“Remind me of how strong I am”. 3 days before he passed away, I had a very deep conversation with him. I told him he is strong, and soon enough he will be well again, able to enjoy in the things he loved.
“Listen, validate, believe”. That last conversation that I had with him, I told him I am sorry for what he was going through. I gave him positive things to try. Things that could get his mind off of his symptoms. I told him to hang in there, that we will get through this.
Now, please know that ALL of these ways to help are so very important to do. And they will most likely help that person struggling, most of the time. But for some, suicide is going to happen anyways. I really don’t think my family or I could have changed the outcome. Delayed it, yes. But not change the outcome.
Are we ever going to get rid of suicide? Sadly, no. It will happen still continue to happen. It will never be obsolete. There is no official cure or vaccination.
Here’s what we CAN do NOW.
Listen to OUR own bodies and minds. Reach out to others, and truly tell them what you need for help. There is absolutely NO SHAME in asking for help, and taking care of our mental health. Maybe validating isn’t going to help one person, but it will help another. Outsiders willing to help may not know that. First, get the thought of ‘I am just being a burden to people’ out of your head. Banish it. Be honest with people! Tell people how they can help. People truly want to help one another.
It all starts with our SELF. Love yourself and take care of yourself. Treat your brain as any other organ in the body. Get help when you feel you are struggling and can’t do it alone. Reach out to people. There is hope and there is help.
For our loved ones who may have had a tragic ending, whatever the situation may be, I understand. Those of you that have tried to help your loved ones, did your best to reach out, said all the right things, got them help that they needed, I understand. We did our very best. Are we going to feel guilty and ashamed about it? Yes. But realize that this was their decision. We can’t blame ourselves for what somebody else did. Just know that you are still amazing, and love yourself even more. Our loved ones would want us to be happy.
Hugs,
Sarah
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
journey to hope and healing 