I really wanted (and needed) my dad to visit me during the last week of December. That was a really hard week. Christmas Eve (The last time I talked to him), his death, and his birthday, all in one week.

I felt alone and abandoned. I needed him to say hi and lift my spirits. To know that he was ok. The flood of grief came back that week. Anger, sorrow, sadness, guilt (oh so much guilt this time), and many more feelings. It was survival week for me and it was tough! It was tough to grieve and take care of my family at the same time.

He finally visited me in a dream! My family and I were having a birthday party for him. We decorated, ate steak, and ate cake. The decorations were all yellow and green. The first few months after my dad passed, I would see yellow butterflies. Once when we were at the lakes by my house, a lone yellow butterfly flew right in front of us and over the lake. I knew it was my dad. I would see many more during those first hard months. So I knew yellow was my dad’s color, and green for his love of the outdoors.

We were wrapping up the party, starting to clean up. We were sad that dad didn’t make it, and that’s when he walked in. He came barging in, sorry that he was late. He was busy up there in Heaven. Like every dream I’ve had with him, we gave each other a long, heartfelt hug. I whispered to him that I miss him so much and loved him. He had a smile on his face and said the same thing.

Everything happens in God’s timing. I needed to get through that week and be strong. My dad must have been busy that week in Heaven, helping others and visiting his family. I know he is truly at peace and finally happy! That brings me so much happiness to know that he is finally safe, back with his family, and helping others like he loved doing on this Earth.

Love and miss you dad.

Hugs,

Sarah