I just miss you being here. I miss you being a call away. I miss you being able to listen to my complaints, never being impatient with me. I miss the bond we had. I miss the comforting way I could talk to you about things. I miss hearing you talk about what it was like growing up. I even miss you talking about your shooting competitions even though that may have taken some patience on my part to listen 😁.

I. Just. Miss. You.

I couldn’t talk to mom about things. I always came to you first. You were the first one I called to announce anything. My many pregnancies, the latter ones where you would chuckle, ‘again? You know what causes that?!’. You were adamant about getting an engraved baby cup for my kids. I remember calling to tell you I made the decision to be baptized as an official member of my church. I was so nervous, I waited to make that phone call. You said, ‘I will support you in anything that brings you closer to God.’ What a sweet relief. I needed my dad’s blessing to go on with the baptism, even if I was 25 and not a kid anymore. And then you made it a priority to be here for my oldest’s baptism. Even though mom didn’t see the importance in it. Remember when you first baptized me in the pool? I am grateful for you and the seed of faith you engraved in me since I was little.

I was only 34 when you died. Much too young to lose a father. I wish you knew how much I still needed you. We all needed you.

I. Just. Need. My. Dad.

Grief isn’t peace most of the time. Grief is a battle of feeling highs and lows. But mostly lows. And then sometimes nothing at all.

I don’t have a parent to talk to about things. It’s hard. It’s lonely. It feels empty.

Don’t wait for life to be almost over to enjoy it. Make those plans. Start the hobbies now. Enjoy life now!

And as always, Just. Be. Kind.

Hugs

Sarah