My dad had this little prayer on many notepads and bookmarks. He truly tried to live this way.

I can’t change what happened. I can’t change the fact that my dad took his own life. Like the prayer says, I need to accept the things I can’t change. I have to accept that he’s gone and he’s not coming back. But I know I will see him again. I know he is watching over me and my family. My daughter feels him when she sees butterflies flying by. I feel him when I listen to the music he loved. I feel him when I am in nature.

Acceptance is HARD. It’s hard to accept death. No matter how it happens. But it’s also hard to accept any endings in life. Lately for me it’s been hard to accept a friendship ending. A friend that I truly cared about. My kindness was taken for granted. My struggle is not new in my family. My dad’s kindness was taken granted for many times in his life. A good friend of his took advantage of his friendship and kindness. My dad’s brother even took advantage of him. My dad kept giving him money when he asked for it. Finally, my dad sent a letter saying that he wouldn’t send him money anymore but still loves him. He never heard from him again. So I know how he felt. It makes you feel worthless, if I am being totally honest.

I miss my dad so much. I miss seeing his kindness in action. Growing up, we always bought gifts for a giving tree. I watched him give homeless people food. I watched him go out of his way to thank service members. My sister remembers going with my dad to deliver thanksgiving meals to the needy. He really loved people without restrictions. He didn’t care what color, religion, or hard background people had. He just cared about people like Jesus would.

I hope I can live up to his name. My dad, Stephen Bruska, was the gentle giant. One of the best friends you could have. He was selfless and served others when he could. Yes he had his faults like we all do. But anyone that knew him, knew what a great person he was.

Love you daddy! I miss the memories I had with you. Remember when you would take me everywhere as your little buddy? You would stick your hand out and I would wrap my tiny hand around your large pinky finger.

Know you aren’t alone in struggles in life. Instagram influencers are liars if they say their life is perfect. I like to say my life is imperfectly perfect. I have my struggles. I’ve dealt with depression and anxiety since I was a kid. We all struggle with something. So in this world, if you want to help, Just. Be. Kind. That’s the best start ❤️

Hugs,

Sarah